The Original Fifty Shades of Gray


Today I write about a book that changed my life, The Story Of O.  When I was 23 ( I am quite a bit older now) A lover of mine gave me this book. I had no idea what it was about but as he gave it to me I read it. To say it was an eye opener is an understatement.

The Story of O is an erotic novel first published in 1954 about a young Parisian fashion photographer named O who’s lover takes her to Chateau Roissy to become a “plaything” for his elite club of like minded men. She is subjected to whippings, penetration of all orifices and other S&M events. ( I will say no more as I don’t want to give away the entire plot.  It opened up a whole new world for me. I found that pleasure can be gotten from pain ( though there is a very fine line) I became more uninhibited and our sex got much hotter. It showed that in being submissive there is power, to give oneself over to pleasure in all it’s forms can be an experience beyond measure.  In 1975 a movie version of the book was made and released.                       th                                                                           

It was actually banned in the United Kingdom until the year 2000. The most amazing thing to me is that the Story of O was written by a woman! Anne Descios wrote it under the pen name of Pauline Reage as a series of love letters for her lover Jean Paulhan.  Jean was a huge fan of The Marquis De Sade. Anne did not admit to being the author until 40 years after it’s publication.  In 2004 a documentary entitled The Writer of O was made. It mixed interviews with reenacted scenes from the book. I will always be grateful to my lover for introducing this book and this world to me. It has brought me much pleasure over the years! I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in the genre or who would like read something more truthful about the S&M world than Fifty Shades of Gray






My Muse for everything insane


Anyone who knows me knows I am obsessed with this woman, Helena Bonham Carter. She is an English actress who was born in 1966 and has quite a list of nobility in her ancestry. I first saw her in merchant ivory film The Wings of The Dove, she was amazing. She was beautiful, fragile, and endearing. She became known as The English Rose because at that time she was typecast in every period piece that came out for years.  Then…


She was cast as Ophelia in Mel Gibson’s Hamlet. After seeing her in that role, she will forever be, for me,THE quintessential Ophelia and how that role should be played!! No one and I mean NO ONE plays crazy better than her!! When I played Cassandra in my Shakespeare companies production of Troilus and Cressida and Trojan women I loosely based my performance on her in this role, I even dedicated my performance to her ( my muse for all things dark and crazy)


In a brilliant piece of casting ( but then again there is only one other actress who could play this role, but more on her in another blog) she played Bellatrix La Strange in the Harry Potter franchise. She was beautiful, mysterious, crazy, and just plain evil! I couldn’t wait for her character to die ( stay away from my daughter bitch)

Enough gushing but thank you Helena for inspiring me with all your brilliant, insane, dark and fabulous performances!!

Savage Beauty

If you know anything about fashion you will correctly guess that this blog will be about the late, great, fashion designer Alexander Mcqueen!                             138334-alexander-mcqueen

Alexander Mcqueen was born in London and at the ripe age of 20 started working on Savile Row as a tailor. He quickly got the name “l’enfant terrible” as his early collections were theatrical, thought provoking, and controversial to say the least.  alexander-mcqueen-quote

His clothes were provocative, dark, edgy, most times sado-masochistic .0123-alexander-mcqueen-prefall-2012-gown-03_fa


Unfortunately Alexander McQueen took his own life in February of 2010.  In May of 2011 I had the great fortune of going to The Metropolitan Museum of Art’s exhibit “Alexander McQueen Savage Beauty” The exhibit was breathtaking. Each room was set up with the clothes from each of his major fashion shows. The actual show was projected on screens in each room. To see his work that close was jaw dropping. The detail and beauty made me cry more than a few times. I have read that the exhibit has been redone and shown in London. I hope it comes back to NYC so I can see it again. There will never be another Alexander McQueen.247368_2091188400873_1724613_n

Early Inspiration

For my first blog I would like to talk about someone who has had a profound effect on me, The Artist Edward Gorey.Edward-Gorey          Edward Gorey was an author and illustrator. I was introduced to his work when I was in grade school and my father got me hooked on PBS’S (channel 12) Mystery. Edward Gorey inked the animated opening which included men and women in Edwardian dress being mysterious, men playing crochet in the rain, and a delightful damsel in distress.  PBS Mystery I was hooked! I loved the black and white drawing, the clothes, well just everything!!

I then read everything he wrote including probably his most famous book The Gashlycrumb Tinies, a delightful alphabet book detailing the horrible deaths of children. Mr. Gorey also did set design for Opera and Broadway. In 1977 He won a Tony award for Best costume design for Dracula ( yes the one with Frank Langella) , he was also nominated for scenic design. His illustration for it, I loved so much I have it tattooed on my back.


Thankfully his legacy lives on to delight and enthrall a new generation of lovers of all things Dark and Fabulous!





Welcome to my new blog. Here I will be sharing news about what I am up to and what inspires me. I will be talking about Fashion, music, other makeup artists, and all things Dark and Fabulous!